Cuz Im Stoopit!!

being stupid

Cuz I’m Stoopit by Doug McColl, December 10, 2022
I used to think I had the corner on stupidity. But as I get older and even stupider, I have started to notice that the world is catching up with me.

Where I used to feel alone in my stupidity, I am now finding a great big stupid community of people even stupider than me as they assimilate into the big stupid world that is just sort of forming out of the blew…or is it blow?! (The answer, my friend is blo…)

Anyway althohg you think I’m not as stupider as you think I am sometimes my werds don’t even make scents! My teacher told me my writing stinks AAMOF! (I make that up (MTU) as a matter of fact) and she told me that I suck as well but I told her, “only threw staws yaloozer!)….oh so ware wuz I now (oh..overdoin it)…Oh ya and about straws…

These new paper straws…WTF! they are permeable membranes and when they get wet they don’t do justice to the suckin power one must muster to get the juices flowin if you can dig it. Well if you have to dig it you likely can’t scuk it, is what my dad used to say.

And then there’s the new steel straws. Break your teeth why don’t you! For example: Yer walking along suckin your smootie as you misjudge the height of that curb and then $900 of dental work and jaw surgery later, you HAVE to drink and eat from a straw for the next 4 weeks (at week 5 you are allowed to spoon yourself pudding, but I like pudding so you’d here no complaints hear! LMFAO. )

Anyways dentist likenly invented steel straws in collaboaration with Big-Pudding.

Oh I forgot, this is about studip sin’t it!! Off track again! Well, honestly is the best policly so now taht I’ve just enlightened you…you just relax and leave all the smart stuff to the few reamaining smart people out there and join the exponentially growing stupid community!! Strength in math!!!

ARRRRRR! Hay!… Let’s Go!! ARRRRR! Hay!…Let’s Go!!! (this is the beggining of a new stoopid cheer i’m thinking up….I challenge you to finish it, or use it as is and come up with a cheer-dance thing, video it and post it!!! Don’t forget to make it real stoopid, be stoopid and mention it all started here! thanks, Doug

Wanted: Smiling Automatons!!

Future of Humanity

Being a good, orderly automaton is very important to success these days. If you have too many archaic human qualities like empathy, skepticism or passion here are some things you can do to fit in better and get along in the world:

1. Express your feelings as little as possible or preferably, try not to feel things. If that doesn’t work there is counselling and many drugs your doctor can prescribe (red is best).
2. Invest in expensive technology and then believe and embrace that you’ll only need more of it to survive in this world we live in. Become absorbed, addicted to and ruled by it!! With it, you are free to express feelings, true or false and no-one will really care or will they…but if it bothers you and you get emotional refer to #1 above.
3. Put on a smile!!! Even if things are shit, let on that there is no such thing as shit!! You wouldn’t want other smiling people to wonder what is wrong with you, would you? So let a smile be your shit umbrella; just put a clothespin on your nose so you don’t notice the smell! If you become paranoid that other people might see through your mask and this causes you anxiety just refer to #1 above.
4. Don’t try to change things; it gives the impression that you have noticed flaws when you should be focussed on the positive…come on!! YOU KNOW BETTER! When you notice flaws you are dissing all the people who have made things as great as they now are for everyone.
5. Recreate simple technologies that once worked to become inefficient or ineffective! For instance, make a dishwasher that won’t hold plates properly or a toaster in which bread won’t fit! If you can achieve this…GOOD ON YA!! You have just made the high-tech appear less dysfunctional.
6. Don’t complain. Refer to # 3 and 4 for the reasons. And if it you get upset because you don’t feel heard refer to #1.